Burning Bridges

Sometimes in life you can’t help but burn bridges for it’s the last viable option. To stay sane. Forget about a significant other. Start anew. Mine was to be my own self.

Fortunes come and go. That’s what I’ve realized when I was younger. At some point in our life, the heavens would grant us the thing we most wanted while at other times, it’d just take everything away. “Lady Luck came to you,” that’s what the woman who sold jewelry told me a few months ago. I smiled because I couldn’t decide whether I truly believe in such a thing and because I knew if this was her, she came with a price—a huge one at that. My independence.

Is taking away your ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want, the very worst punishment you can imagine? – The Tenth Circle

If Lady Luck was a bottle of wine, I knew I was using her all up, getting myself tipsy along the way. At times, sanity resurfaced and questioned everything I was doing…including the person I came to be. And before I got totally drunk in her comfort I realized it was not too late to go back. To have my lifestyle, dreams, and personality back.

I enjoyed my freedom and independence back in the days, but it did come to a point where I got tired and wished things were handed to me in a silver platter. Apparently, frustrated thinking could lead to a lifelong cliché: Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it. 

I knew my decision hurt and disappointed people. This has far larger consequences than any of the mistakes I made. I had to consider feelings of those who mattered to me most and those who recently hopped in on my journey. I had to think..long and hard. Yet ultimately, I knew there was no point in sacrificing that much in exchange for a future I don’t really want for myself. It’s my dreams that I should be working on and not theirs. Law school isn’t for me.

Although everything now feels like backward steps in the ladder of success, I know this won’t be for nothing. It’s one of those lessons I had to learn the hard way. It is one of those moments where I remind myself that I didn’t just go through all those troubles in the past to spread my wings and run freely only to be placed in a fancier cage.

So old bridges I burned…in exchange for pure and genuine ones.

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